Part 2: Doing the 3+1 most stressful things you can do in your life in a year: Getting Married

Well it’s meant to be stressful, but in all honesty compared to the other 3 things, it just really wasn’t that bad.

I remember on the morning of the wedding, everyone asking me if I was ok. They were worried because I was so calm. I just had this nice serene feeling.

The only thing that got me truly stressed about wedding planning was the table plan, it has to be the WORST part of wedding planning. Who to sit where, which table and next to whom. You’ve got to take into account family politics, friends who don’t get on and make sure no one feels left out or isolated. So much responsibility, I nearly gave up a couple of times and considered letting people just sit where they pleased. In the end though I managed it (2 days before the wedding) and it ended up working well and everyone was happy!

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The other thing that was very minorly stressful was my wedding dress, I bought it in March and then very luckily fell pregnant in September. I went for my first dress fitting at about 9 weeks pregnant I think it was, it no longer fit, not because I had gained any weight because my boobs had exploded. I was lucky to have such a lovely lady who did all the alterations to make it fit, she removed the buttons and replaced it with a corset back and it just looked fantastic! So that was that minor stress quickly sorted.

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I was also very lucky because my husband had a huge part in the planning, he was fantastic. He took a lot of my stress away by taking it into his hands, I know this isn’t right for everyone, not all brides would like it like this, but I loved it. Out of the two of us he is definitely the most organised.

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We also got married at a fantastic time of year, it was December so our venue was already decorated with beautiful Christmas decoration which saved us a lot of time, money and effort.

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So basically getting married was the least stressful out of the 3+1 most stressful things you can do, and after it you get a lovely honeymoon, we spent 2 weeks in Egypt over new year, it was amazing.

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Next I’ll be talking about having a baby.

Doing the 3+1 most stressful things you can do in your life in a year: IVF.

Apparently or so people always tell you the 3 most stressful things you can do in life are as follows;

Move house.
Get married.
Have a baby.

And then for us there’s the not so normal add on of have fertility treatment, in our case IVF.

We fully knew we were doing two of those in a year, get married and do IVF. We are lucky that it turned into three things, having a baby.

Then an unexpected fourth was thrown into the mix.

We moved house. 300 miles. From Wales to Essex. So hello there people of Essex, I’m now over that side of the country with you all.

I’m going to go through how things went for us in order of when they happened.

Today’s post is about IVF.

So this was stressful in ways that are very different to all the others, everything is out of your hands, out of your control. You put one of the most important things in your life in the hands of medical professionals.

There are points when you are undergoing fertility treatment that you just want to throw the towel in and scream “get me off this crazy train”.

The most stressful thing about it for me personally was when after you’ve had your eggs collected you wait for a fertilisation report the next day. I couldn’t sleep all that night. The clinic told me they would call between 8 and 9am. They called at 9.22, I was seriously unhinged at this point thinking the worst. You see unknown number flash up and you know it’s them, I don’t think my heart has ever raced so much. Luckily for us it was good news. 4 out of our 6 eggs fertilised.

Levels of stress during and IVF cycle are inhuman. It’s stressful as it is, then you’ve got all those artificial hormones you’re pumping into yourself in my case up to 4 times a day to deal with too.

The other very stressful part of IVF for us was after we had embryo transfer (Arabella was put back) I developed a serious condition called OHSS.

You can only get OHSS if you’ve been using fertility drugs, again another thing that the human body was never designed to deal with.

It started with a mild pain. It quickly got worse. My husband took me to A&E in the middle of the night. Neither of us knew what was happening.

I cannot describe the pain of OHSS other than tell you that I was telling doctors I wanted to die if they couldn’t help me. I would rather give birth again 10 times than have up go through that pain again. I would rather have a dental abscess. I’ve never known pain like this pain. It’s indescribable. We thought our chances of baby being ok were gone. The hospital wouldn’t check if the pregnancy was progressing for us as they told us it was too early.

I genuinely think you cannot understand the stress IVF puts you through mentally and physically unless you or someone closes to you has been through it.

I would say out of the 4, this experience was the most stressful.

In my next post I’ll be talking about wedding stress.

To finish off here’s a picture of me looking like a dork in my gown on the morning of egg collection.

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Scary needles (this one is used for mixing drugs!!)

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And my OHSS belly.

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And lastly a picture of me when I was in A&E shortly before this I had been telling doctors I wanted to die I was in that much pain.

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